This Just In...

I made a new blog, Fuzzy, for the less significant posts. I haven't decided yet whether this is a good idea. In a way, I don't really want to separate the less significant from the more significant because it is all part of life, the struggle, and grace. I'm going to experiment with it and see if I like this or not. I decided to give it a try because it seems odd to have a post ranting about Comcast or my political views followed by a plea for everyone to pray for peace. Still, I can't help but feel that even though these posts are very different in priority and in gravity, they belong together because as odd or as insignificant as they may seem, they are part of what I'm struggling with. At any rate, you can now read my "deeper" thoughts here and my "fuzzy" thoughts on my other blog.

God bless.

Pray for Peace

Still having problems with Comcast. Did I mention that Comcast is horrible and should cease to exist? This is quite a minor problem in the scheme of things. On a more serious note, I am becoming increasingly concerned about the state of world affairs.

North Korea and Iran are on the verge of developing nuclear weapons (if they haven't developed them yet). The situation in Lebanon is ripe for bigger trouble. European and US citizens are completely oblivious and apathetic to the fact that there are dangerous people out there who want to do us harm.

The United Nations is a complete joke. All they do is pass resolutions and do nothing when the resolutions are violated. I liken the United Nations to the mom at the grocery store with the spoiled child. The spoiled child is grabbing things off the shelf and screaming and making a scene and all the mom does is say, "Stop that! You are going to get a time out!" I've never seen a child stop because of idle threats. I can't remember a time when the United Nations actually made a difference in making the world a safer place. I honestly have no idea why we even bother wasting our time with the United Nations. When Iran gets a nuke and uses it on Israel they are just going to make another useless resolution.

It is only a matter of time before all kinds of countries and terror groups have nukes. Meanwhile we have people here in this country who want to be isolationist. It reminds me of the beginning stages of World War II, when nobody really thought Hitler was a big threat. Nobody took him seriously...until it was too late. People need to wake up. Extreme Muslims are not interested in negotiation, money, and land. They are interested in spreading their extreme hatred wherever they can spread it. When they get a chance they will bring the fight here.

Wishing for the best is great but we need to live in the real world and deal with what really exists. We cannot afford to ignore the problems brewing in North Korea, Iran, Iraq, and in Lebanon. I am in favor of pursuing peace. I am not interested in going to war. Ignoring the terrorists is not peace. Downplaying the threat of terrorism is not peace. Tolerating evil is not peace.

I am voting for whoever gives me the impression that s/he will not tolerate evil, and who will not ignore the problem of terrorism. Unfortunately I don't see any candidate who is willing to stand up for what is right. The only person I see with a plan for combating terrorism is our current president. I fear that if a Democrat is elected we will placate and accommodate more and more terrorists and give them the security and even legal protections to conspire and to execute terrorism. The Republican candidates thus far seem weak to me, and are likely unwilling to be leaders. Consensus would be great but most likely will not happen in this country until car bombs and nuclear and biological weapons are detonating in our cities. By then it will be too late.

Please pray for peace. Pray for God's mercy and grace. Pray for the terrorists. Pray for our President and our leaders, regardless of their political party. Pray that the tensions calm down and that they will not escalate. Pray that God will have mercy and intervene and prevent the destruction of so many lives. Pray that people will repent of their sinfulness and turn to God. Ask everyone to pray for peace.

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of your thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.

Comcast is Horrible and Should Cease to Exist

I have had nothing but trouble with my Comcast cable service for months and months and months and months and months. I can't exactly recall the exact start of my problems but I'm guessing around October of 2005 I started to have problems with my cable reception. The picture would distort and the sound would break. Sometimes the TV was unwatchable for hours at a time. This was most frustrating when I wanted to watch my football games. I called Comcast and they sent a technician who fidgeted with the wires and claimed it was all fixed. Shortly after he left the problem returned. This went on for months and months.

Maybe it's just me but if I ran a business and I had a customer who was as repeatedly unhappy with my service as this I would make sure the problem is resolved. But Comcast has a monopoly on cable service and could not care any less about its customers because Comcast is our only choice. Little do they know, as soon as I move, I am going to get satellite TV and be done with Comcast for good. A friend of mine had Direct TV and it worked wonderfully.

After months of getting the usual run-around I called the Ann Arbor Cable Commission and finally got my cable fixed in July. October to July of terrible on and off cable service and they only gave me one month's credit. I searched and found absolutely no phone numbers one can call to voice a complaint with someone who is held accountable for pleasing the customers. I searched for an email address to send in complaints to the corporate office. It wasn't possible. I repeatedly asked to speak to a supervisor. Once I was left on hold for over a half hour when I asked to speak to a supervisor. Many other times I was told that there was no supervisor. Imagine that, a huge company like Comcast and not a single person who is in charge! So not only did they give me the run-around, but they lied repeatedly to me. When I finally got a "supervisor" I was told that they would dispatch a "senior technician" to look into my problem. The "senior technician" never showed up on the day he was supposed to come. He came several days later after I once again called the Ann Arbor Cable Commission (which, by the way, is just as inept at giving customers any idea that our complaints are being handled). Finally the problem was fixed.

Zoom ahead to three days ago... I was channel surfing and got a message that said "One Moment Please: This channel should be available shortly." Ten minutes later the message was still up so I decided to just go to sleep. I got up the next day and turned on the TV to see the news and behold, the same message appeared. I called Comcast and got a recording stating that it would work much faster if I just let them send a signal to my box if I press 1 on my phone and that if that didn't fix the problem I should unplug the cable and plug it back in after 30 seconds. I pressed 1 on my phone and nothing happened. Ten minutes later I unplugged my cable, waited 30 seconds, plugged it back in and I finally got my picture back. Several minutes later I lost my picture. I went through this entire procedure again, and again, and again, and again, and again. I have unplugged my cable and then plugged it back in over a dozen times in the past hour. The only reason I'm doing this (rather than giving up and finding something else to do) is to show my readers how much of a joke Comcast is.

I'm not looking forward to dealing with Comcast again. If I had some money I would look into my legal options but I have no money for that and am at the mercy of a seemingly unethical company that does not care about its customers.

So I called Comcast...again, and was told that they sent a signal to my cable and got a response back from it and that they don't see a problem with my cable! LOL!! I had to explain that regardless of the information my cable box sent back to them, I have no picture. They had a hard time understanding that it is a problem when their customer does not have a picture. I was finally able to talk them into letting me bring my cable box in to exchange it for another. I'm guessing this will not fix the problem but as you can see, I am documenting this entire fiasco, and doing it so that my readers can see that Comcast is horrible and should cease to exist.

Saved by the Court!

I just heard on the news that the recent Terrorist plot to bomb 10 planes was brought to the attention of British officials by listening in on some calls that came from terrorists. While I think that we should do everything we can to protect the privacy of US citizens, I don't think we should protect that privacy for our enemies at home and abroad. I think it is absurd to grant privacy rights to enemies of the United States who wish to kill and to destroy us. It is frightening to think that there are many who believe we should "play nicely" with the terrorists and respect their "rights" to free speech as they plot to kill us and their "rights" to privacy as they communicate these plots. It boggles my mind that the British are more open to using tools such as wire tapping to stop terrorists from killing people than we are here in the U.S. It further boggles my mind that this recent ruling from the Appeals Court may make it easier for terrorists to plan, communicate, and execute terrorism in the U.S. People in the U.S. need to wake up and understand that there are people out there who want to see our country destroyed. They are not innocent little victims who will calm down if we just listen to them and change our evil ways. They will not befriend us. But frighteningly, there are many who want to handcuff our government from protecting us and may have gotten their way in this latest ruling. If the terrorist plot to bomb 10 planes would have occurred after this latest ruling and in the US instead of in the UK, the call that gave them away may not have been intercepted and instead of having news stories about a thwarted terror plot, we'd have news stories about the tragic loss of thousands of lives...and in response I'd (sarcasticly) say, "at least we waited for a warrant." That would make it all better.

It is laughable to me that we need to have a court's permission to spy on our enemies. It is a sham that our President is required to take an oath to protect and defend our country and then be expected to abide by silly rules that tell him that he cannot spy on our enemies because they have rights to free speech and to privacy. While I think it would be a good idea to get warrants when possible to assist with prosecution, I pray and hope the U.S. continues to listen in on the terrorists in order to stop them from executing their plans. I just heard on the news that numerous courts have held (for decades) that the President has the authority to conduct warrantless wire taps on international calls for the purpose of safety and security.

When are people going to learn that the Fathers of our country fought for the rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, and that life is listed first for a reason? Without the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness do not exist. If one is dead, one cannot enjoy liberty and the pursuit of happiness. If one is dead, one cannot enjoy the right to privacy or free speech. But I am alive and have privacy and free speech. And if I call Osama Bin Laden on my phone then I pray to God someone is listening in. But I don't call Osama so I have nothing to worry about. Nobody is listening in on my calls. Sometimes I'm not even listening to my calls myself. But when people start getting killed by terrorists repeatedly in our country and people start talking, saying, "Isn't this terrible? Why can't anything be done about this?" I'll laugh at them and sarcasticly say, "Come on now, they have constitutional rights to conspire and communicate their terrorism just like we have constitutional rights to conduct our business. Business is business. What do you expect us to do?" It will be a sad day when Osama gets his hands on nuclear weapons and we don't know about it because we guarantee his rights to free speech and to privacy.

I wonder about all those communications that were intercepted in World Wars I, II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and both of the wars in Iraq. Did we have a warrant to intercept those communications? We had all kinds of spies in the Soviet Union during the Cold War. I sure hope we had a warrant to spy on them because of course, all human beings have a right to privacy and to free speech. What about the Cuban missile crisis? Didn't we fly over Cuba and take pictures? My gosh! I sure hope we obtained a warrant first. We have satellites taking detailed pictures of what's going on in North Korea. Did we get the North Koreans' permission first? Do we have a warrant? News reports are saying they may have nukes now. I hope the U.S. government knows for sure whether or not they have nukes but I'm not so sure our own government knows more than the news because of the silliness out there that insists that we respect our enemies rights to speech and to privacy. Oh, it doesn't apply because they are not U.S. citizens? What about the Civil War? I sure hope the North and South got warrants before spying on each other. Where is the outcry and the demand for retroactive impeachment of Abe Lincoln for spying on U.S. citizens? What if U.S. citizens were working or travelling where we've had spy planes or satellites collect data? Shouldn't we first get a warrant?

Spying sounds unconstitutional to me according to the latest court ruling. Maybe we should retroactively impeach all our Presidents who had spy programs. What if we are invaded by a foreign country? Will we need warrants because some satellite pictures will show the activities of U.S. citizens? Will we need warrants to listen in on communications because some of the communications may be from U.S. citizens? Or maybe pictures are ok but listening in on conversations are bad. Should we really have spies infiltrate terror groups? We might violate terror groups' right to privacy. Perhaps the spies should request a warrant each time they interact with our enemies.

I'm guessing that the NY Times is looking for ways to get information on these warrants so they can print, once again, for all the world to see, all our strategies for dealing with terrorism. But hey, it is their right to sabotage all our efforts to combat terrorism. It's their First Amendment right. When the news media finds a way to unclassify FISA court warrants under the Freedom of Information Act (since our spy programs and other classified programs obviously do not get any guarantees of privacy) or some other loophole, they will have plenty to print since we now need a warrant to spy. This will be done regardless of the loss of life and the loss of years of work to provide security at home and abroad.

What if I call someone in China to discuss a Christian mission trip and the Communist party listens in? I now have a RIGHT to privacy on international calls. I can sue my country for not ensuring that my rights are protected. I can't imagine all the lawsuits that are going to come from this. And how in the world will the U.S. guarantee my RIGHT to privacy on international calls? Should the U.S. force China to respect my rights? That may require military action. But we can't spy on our enemies unless we obtain a warrant so we will most likely lose in a war with China. But at least I have my (useless) rights!

Some of the people in this country think they are so enlightened and superior by "sticking to the principles." But they lack common sense and an understanding of the realities of the world we live in. I'll come right out and say it, I think its stupid that we cannot spy on our enemies without a warrant whether they are at home or abroad. If you want to bog everything down by asking stupid questions like, "well how do we define our enemies?" you can be ridiculous and do so but please step out of the way and let people with common sense handle things. It's really simple. Those who want to kill us and to destroy our stuff in an effort to cripple or destroy our country are our enemies.

There are several exceptions to our Bill of Rights. Despite having the right to free speech, teachers can tell their students about their personal lives unless it is about religion. One cannot yell "Fire!" in a public place when there is no fire. One cannot slander another person. In many instances one may not make statements which are offensive. Despite having a Constitutional right to freedom of religion, a teacher or in many cases, students, may not engage in prayer or carry a Bible at school. Despite the right to bear arms, we are restricted in which arms we may bear, and in how we bear them. Despite having a right to life, parents have a constitutional right to murder their children prior to birth. I obviously disagree with some of the exceptions that have been made to our Bill of Rights (I don't think the murder of the unborn and restrictions on public prayer should be allowed) and I also agree with some of them (I think we should restrict people from using racial slurs in public places). Whether I agree with the exceptions or not, we have exceptions to our rights. We have a right to privacy but there should be exceptions to this as well. Privacy rights supposedly protect a woman's right to choose to kill her unwanted baby. I strongly believe an exception should be made to a woman's privacy rights so that her unborn child would be protected from being ripped apart by sharp instruments or from chemicles that burn the baby to death. Our government should be able to spy in order to protect us from our enemies. Anything obtained other than information pertaining to national security should be unconstitutional, and should be protected. Some will be silly and ask, "What is national security? Does speaking out against the government constitute a security risk?" Again, I am fine with the boggers wasting everyone's time by asking these questions over a Cappucino at Starbucks with their friends but please step aside and let people with common sense handle this. National security is concerned with stopping people from killing us and breaking our stuff in such a way as to cripple or destroy our country. Disagreeing with President Bush or Senator Hillary Clinton and voicing such disagreements is so obviously not a matter of national security. If you wish to tell your friend that you think Hillary Clinton's hair looks ratty or that George Bush's diction sounds uneducated you have nothing to worry about. But if you call up your terrorist friends in Afghanistan to ask them what the plan is for you to asisst with a plot detonate a nuclear bomb in our country you should have something to worry about. It is very simple.

When Hezbollah, al qaeda, Iran, and North Korea get nukes - and they will - I hope we know about it BEFORE it is too late. Some people may end up being unnecessarily distressed when the bombs go off and the US government was too busy dinking around in courts rather than spying on our enemies.

Basically the latest (foolish) court decision about the warrantless wire taps provides our enemies with constitutional protections to conspire to kill us and to communicate their conspiracies with one another. Well done!

Lions and Tigers and Bears...in Washington DC

Wow. Since my last post I've been quite busy. I just returned from Washington D.C. I was visiting a great friend. I left the day after the terrorist plot to blow up ten planes was uncovered. I was expecting security to be crazy and that I'd spend more time in line for security screening than I would spend on the plane. Security was fast. I really didn't spend much time in line at all. I love flying to Reagan National Airport, in D.C. Each time I've flown there we descended and flew in over the Potomac River. I was able to see the Washington Monument and the Capital Building as we descended. The airport is right on edge of the river and its really cool.

It was unseasonably cool in D.C. The night I arrived it was so nice out. We stopped at a cool restaurant that first night and sat outside talking and watching the traffic drive by. The next day we went on a long hike. We walked from what I think might have been the Pentagon area to Reagan National Airport and watched the planes take off and land for a bit. We crossed over the 14th Street Bridge, which is a really cool Bridge that takes you over the Potomac River. We walked over to the Jefferson Memorial and then on to the new World War II Memorial. Wow, the WWII Memorial was very impressive and beautiful. I'll see if I can find a way to get some pictures of it and post them. We walked past the Washington Memorial, past the White House, and then stopped at a really cool bar for a drink. I was starving so we went out to this amazing restaurant called Sweet Water. If I lived in D.C. this would be my favorite restaurant. I had some ribs and a key lime pie.

The next day we went to the National Zoo. Haha, nearly all the animals were napping when we got there. We did manage to see some really cool animals though. We went to this bird exhibit and there was a beautiful Toucan. I love Toucans. We saw a tiger and some gorillas that were awake. Then we came upon a really cool cow at the petting zoo. I love cows. I love the way they look when they chew and I love the way they moo. I especially love the way they taste. The seals and sea lions were the best. They were quite funny to watch. They were so playful. When they got tired they came up out of the water and perched on a large rock.

It was a great trip...just what the doctor ordered. I can't wait to go back. My friend Dave was great. I enjoyed hanging out with him.

The Joy of the Lord is my Strength

I've been noticing over the past three years that I am getting really tired. Life is getting dull. I've been getting sick so much over the past few years. I'm grossly out of shape and kinda don't care. I don't really enjoy my dog the way I've enjoyed her in the past. I have been seeing my work as a job and less of a ministry and a passion. My friends have become nearly non-existent to me. It has been a struggle to go to church and to love God. It has been a very long time since I've noticed the beauty of anything. I've grown increasingly worried about money and how little of it I make and how I may not afford to live when I grow too old to support myself. I am really tired physically, mentally, and spiritually. I have spent the past ten years of my life giving, serving, loving, and sacrificing as a response to Christ's gift, service, love, and sacrifice for me. But each of the past three years it has been getting painfully difficult. I need refreshment. I need some rest. I need some encouragement. I need to be loved. I need more of God.

After a prolonged and intense period of great healing and transformation in my life I am becoming painfully aware that I am still damaged, broken, weak, and hurting. I need a breakthrough in my life. I need more of God. I've been so tired the past two years that I've slowly dropped out of life. I feel like I've lost my ability to reach young people and to relate with them. I've lost my ability to relate with my friends (most of whom are too busy to relate with anyway). Lately I've lost my ability to hold my temper in check. I've really blown some major fuses lately. I really need more of God.

The thing is, as negative as all of this may seem, I am blessed. I'm so tired I have nothing left to give except everything I am. I offer myself up to God and cry out for mercy and grace. The most amazing thing is that my Heavenly Father loves to answer cries for mercy and grace. So I cried out to Him tonight. I felt deeply troubled and unable to fall asleep so I started to surf the internet aimlessly. I surfed over to my old church's website. The pastor there used to be one of my closest friends and his son was also one of my closest friends. They have a section on their website with old sermons. As I scrolled down, examining the sermon titles, two of them caught my attention. They were part of a two part series called, "Refueling on the Fly." I decided to give it a listen since I was troubled and unable to sleep.

My former Pastor, Ken, discussed his own struggle with what I'm going through and his ascent from it. At a certain point his wife told him he needed to get a hobby. He decided to take up disc golf. That silly hobby transformed his life. He discovered the outdoors and especially birds. This helped him realize that God created everything for us to enjoy. He mentioned Nehemiah, who brought the Jews who were exiled from their homeland back to Israel. Their homeland was ruined and the Jewish exiles were in deep sorrow, partly because of the immense task of having to rebuild their home and their life. They had enemies and doubters who stood in the way of this rebuilding. They were filled with fear and with sorrow. Nehemiah told them, "the joy of the Lord is our strength."

Ken's life was transformed by following through on his wife's advice to get a hobby. I was a first-hand witness to this. I was in deep depression at the time. I was not attending church. I was barely holding on to my faith. I gave up struggling and just gave in to sin, depression, and to my anger. I have no clue why but Ken started to invite me to join him for disc golf. I somehow knew that disc golf was of huge importance to Ken's life. So I was blown away that he would ask me to play with him. I played with him nearly every week for about two years during the warmer months. We would even venture out to play during the winter on milder days. Ken's renewed enjoyment of life soon rubbed off on me and I began to enjoy life again. Unlike Ken, I didn't really care about the birds. I fell in love with the game of disc golf. It changed my life. While Ken learned how to enjoy life through birds, I learned to enjoy people. Ken was the first older person who I felt comfortable with besides my own family. We had deep conversations. I couldn't believe someone older than me took the time to play a game with me and to listen to what I had to say. It was therapeutic. He began to invite others to join us on Sunday afternoons. I soon learned to enjoy them as well. Eventually I realized that people weren't all bad and after turning down dozens of invitations to go to Ken's church I finally went. I began to realize that God wasn't this angry God who was punishing me for the sins of my parents. The height and width and depth of God's love (still a mystery to me while very real at the same time) hit me and captured me and has never let go.

I am a competitive person and a bit of a perfectionist (not in every aspect of life though). I started going to the park to play disc golf to "practice" by myself. This was a major step for me. I hate being alone. I felt very uncomfortable at first. I soon came to enjoy the quiet, the sun, the blue sky, the deer, the shade, the dried up pond at Hudson-Mills Metropark, the other disc golf players out on the course, and my conversations with God as I played.

My faith and my life flourished. I became a member of Ken's church. I became active in youth ministry. I had a very active social life. I was enjoying life immensely. The church was growing, and the core group of people were strongly invested in building community with one another. But it didn't last. Building community ceased to be important. People became preoccupied with their jobs, and nobody had time for anyone anymore. The church began a huge project to plant a new church and Ken stopped playing disc golf with me. My other regular disc golf partners also stopped playing. I stopped playing disc golf regularly because nobody ever wanted to play anymore and there was no need for me to "practice."

I no longer enjoy life like I did four to six years ago. I am tired. Things aren't all bad. I have a renewed love for my ailing mom and a desire to serve her in the midst of her suffering. I have a renewed desire to help people encounter the transforming love of God. I have a strong desire to join the priesthood although I fear that I am too broken and am not a good enough person to become a good priest. I have a deepening desire to offer my life fully to God in a life of service to Him even if it is not within the vocation of the Priesthood. I struggle frequently with the notion that my efforts over the years have not resulted in the kind of fruit I hoped for. For a time this struggle has caused me to want to give up. Lately this line of thinking has been causing me to feel like trying harder and to press in closer to God. I would like to get more involved in my church but have no idea where to get started. I have many ideas of how I could help young people but I have no support, no energy, and no ideas on how to get started. I feel like there is so much worth doing and that there are so many ways I could help make a difference but feel overwhelmed by the enormity of the task, overwhelmed by discouragement, overwhelmed by weariness, overwhelmed with frustration, overwhelmed by the isolation and loneliness that stems from my childhood, overwhelmed by financial constraints, and overwhelmed by my weaknesses and flaws. I am overwhelmed but I am not crushed. I am tired but I am not dead. I am discouraged but not hopeless. I am sometimes lonely but not alone. I am weak but He is strong.

I just need to find the joy again. The joy of the Lord is my strength. I don't really know what it will take for me to enjoy all that God created. I'm trying. I used to love storms. The other night I actually sat out on my porch watching the sky for storms that were predicted. I haven't gone outside to enjoy an oncoming storm in years. The storm never came. I used to enjoy reading for pleasure. I went to the bookstore to get a book that caught my interest. I couldn't find the book anywhere. I haven't listened to a CD in a very long time. I'll listen to a song here and there but I can't remember the last time I listened to an entire CD. I went to listen to one of my favorite CD's. I opened the case and the CD was missing. I used to enjoy grilling food outside on the grill. I can't afford to grill right now. I used to enjoy going to Cedar Point with some of the guys from camp. I can't afford to go and probably am too big to fit on the rides anyways. I used to enjoy playing disc golf with my friends from church. I can't really afford the gas to drive out to Hudson Mills and my old disc golf friends are too busy to play anymore. I really enjoyed camp this year but am feeling too tired to continue to do it and feel like I am losing my ability to change the lives of young people. I feel like I am standing in ruins. The joy of the Lord is my strength.

I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire;

he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.

Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD;

may your love and your truth always protect me.
For troubles without number surround me;

my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see.

They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me.
Be pleased, O LORD, to save me; O LORD, come quickly to help me.

Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me.

You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.

- Portions of Psalm 40

Ken's sermon comforted me and reminded me of how God transformed my life through joy several years ago. I'm going to listen to part II tomorrow to see what practical suggestions he had for refueling. Lord knows I need some refueling.

I was able to have lunch with two great friends today. We talked and laughed and I really needed that. Despite losing my temper over some rather small things at camp I thoroughly enjoyed camp. I always enjoy the kids at camp. They are the reason I do camp. I love watching them have fun and I especially enjoy watching them discover the love of the Father. To be honest, the staff at camp has been the difficult part of camp for me in years past. This year was different. This year was the first year as camp director that I completely enjoyed the staff. I still got upset over some minor things, but unlike previous years, those minor things did not interfere with my enjoyment of the staff, who did an amazing job by the way.

This entry is way too long. Sorry. It is also one of my most personal entries. I am tired. I am in need of prayer. I am in need of refreshment. I'll bet everything I have that God will provide. The life God is calling me to is definitely worth the struggle and I will carry on.