Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Avalanche!

I'm having an interesting week. Monday I met with my mom's social worker and physical therapist to discuss mom's transition back home. She is getting a walking cast on Oct 24 and coming home Oct 27. I have a bunch of stuff to do to prep the house for her return to make things less hazardous for her.

Yesterday I was stopped at a red light and a full size van plowed in to the back of me. It was so violent I blacked out for a brief moment and regained consciousness after my car was pushed through the entire intersection and was moving down the street. I am in a fair amount of pain in my head and in my neck.

I aggravated a slowly healing heel injury in my foot by running to the other vehicle to see if they were ok and to get them out of their van, which was beginning to catch fire.

When I returned from the doctor today I found raw sewage leaking through my kitchen drywall and have to take yet another day off from work to be here when the plumber arrives. Then I'll have to wait for the maintenance folks to schedule someone to come in and redo the drywall.

Sunday I have to go to a conference for work all day and will not get a badly needed day of rest.

I feel like the whole world is caving in on me right now and I am beginning to crack a bit under the stress. Sorry if this comes off like a pity party. I just needed to tell someone that my head hurts, my neck hurts, and my foot hurts. I'm exhausted from not sleeping well at all last night. I feel like I'm being buried alive in an avalanche.

There is another avalanche at work here. The avalanche of God's love for me is at work. God's love is also burying me, covering me, strengthening me, and holding me up. The cracks that are appearing due to the stress are being covered by God's love. As I realized that I was trying to deal with all of this on my own strength, I decided to rest in the one who loves me beyond measure.

Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God. - Psalm 20:7


Psalm 20:7 does not mean I get to just sit back and coast through an easy life. There is plenty of work to do whether I feel like doing it all or not. But I trust in God for peace, joy, strength and wisdom in the midst of it. He will provide all I need and I can rest assured of this.

I do not need to worry about my mom, the house, the car, or even about my health. I just need to trust in my Father who loves me, and made me to overcome. God did not create us to be overwhelmed by life. We were created to know and love God and to bring glory to Him. In the end, things may not be perfect, but good will come from all of this.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28

When we feel the cracks of stress bursting; when we see the signs of an avalanche coming (or perhaps it is too late; it is here!), when we feel like we are left alone to handle a host of problems on top of our jobs and our vocations all by ourselves; when we feel like we are being owned by life, we need to run to our Heavenly Father. I grew up without a dad, so I am unfamiliar with going to dad for help. I am learning to do this, and what a blessing it is!

1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.

2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging. - Psalm 46:1-3



God truly is my refuge and my strength. The world is not ending. I have a few minor bumps in the road to deal with and I'm feeling like a little kid who is overwhelmed. Thank God this little kid has a big, strong, loving Father who will walk me through all this. I am thankful for the avalanche of His love for me.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Blur

Life has been crazy. I'm in the middle of moving. I painted one of the rooms I am moving into and it needs to be redone. School just started. My mom broke her ankle the night before the first day of school. Yesterday I had to get up really early in the morning to take her to the hospital for surgery on the ankle. The surgery went well but she cannot put any weight on it for six weeks! The selfish part of me tried rearing it's ugly head and the grace of God came and I accepted. I can take great care of her for six weeks.

She is actually thinking about going to a temporary nursing home for a few weeks. She has such a sweet personality. It will be enjoyable to go visit her and see her interact with the staff and patients there. I wish I would have appreciated her personality more when I was younger.

While I'd rather be able to go home from work and relax and do MY stuff, I have a great opportunity to go to my mom's home after work and do HER stuff and take care of her, love her, and be there for her. My mom has been a huge blessing to me all my life. I hope and pray that she will feel loved over the next six weeks more than ever. God is so good!

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Sin

"Sin is a cruel murder, a frightful act of God-murder, a ghastly annihilation of all things. It is murder because it is the only cause of death, both of the body and of the soul of men. It is God-murder because sin and the sinner caused Christ to die on the cross, and the sinner continues this crucifixion of Jesus, day by day, within himself."

-St. John Eudes

Thank God for mercy!