Catch up

Life has been somewhat busy. Sunday-Monday: Led a retreat with the high school guys that I join with on a weekly basis for support, prayer, and encouragement. We talked about worship, and how its not just singing songs or saying prayers, and acting religious. It is about giving God what he is worth, which is everything we have. I was very impressed by how they responded to the discussions. These guys are great people. They are truly a joy to spend time with. They mean the world to me. I want nothing but the best for them.

We stayed up very late playing cards and watching movies. I think I went to bed at 4:30 in the morning. We had to get up at 9:00 in the morning for breakfast and for a discussion so that we'd have time to clean up before we had to go home. We ate very good food. I had to do all the cooking, and I am a wannabe chef. Hamburgers for lunch Sunday. Spaghetti for dinner. French Toast for breakfast Monday. Good stuff.

I tried to get some work done but mostly played games and vegged on Monday. Read some Harry Potter until it was quite late, and slept in very late. I was a little disappointed that I slept so long but I was so tired. Had plans to get a lot of work done, but didn't get around to it.

Thursday I drove up to Lansing to visit my aunt, uncle, and cousins. I am not very close to my extended family. I think they view my mom as kinda the black sheep and I am an "illegitimate son." I've noticed since I was quite young that they don't really respect her very much, and often feel as though they think something's wrong with me. But the family I visited with on Thursday is quite different. They are very warm and loving and fun to be around. They are the only family I think I could get close to but they live in Florida so I am worried that when my mom passes away I will be all alone (God, of course, will always be with me).

My mom is a great mom. I love her dearly. If you were to meet her and get to know her you would love her dearly too. She is a very sweet person. I don't think she sees it. She is rather insecure, and misunderstands me. She often finds things in what I say or do that are just not true. I have no idea how she misinterprets me so badly. Her insecurities tend to cause her to see me as the problem rather than her insecurities and I sometimes get yelled at for things that I never did, said, or thought. The thing is, nobody has perfect parents, and as far as parents go, my mom is one of the best parents I've ever seen in action. And for the most part, other than the occasional frustration with her misdirected dealings with her insecurities, she is a wonderful person. I have a great deal of respect for her. I don't know how she continually takes hold of the grace to deal with her illnesses with the class and dignity that she does, but I am very impressed.

No parent has perfect children. I am not the most sensitive, compassionate, understanding, nurturing person. This does not mean that I am without love and concern for my mom, or for others. I just need to work more on being more nurturing and sensitive to her and her needs, while at the same time, doing it in such a way that maintains as much independence as possible for her.

I remembered, as I visited my relatives, that my mom is an amazing person, and that she has been a huge blessing to me.

Tonight I hung out with my friend, Dave. He is a great friend. We went to Ashley's Pub and then rented a movie. Had a great time.