Pneumonia

I somehow managed to get pneumonia. Its not as bad as I imagined it would be but its definitely the most unpleasant struggle of my life. I've been off work all week and I really miss my students. I'm sure they don't miss me all that much but that's ok. I definitely miss them. I miss sharing the love of Christ with them each day. I miss their humor and their personalities. Oh well, hopefully I'll be back soon.

I did go coach the other day. That was tough for me. I was drained by the time I arrived. We had to set up for the game. The younger team had to play first. Then it was our turn. Our team is 5-0 now. We won our game the other night. It has been a lot of fun watching them grow as a team. They began the season as a very impatient, emotional team that found way too many ways to throw bad passes or to take the wrong shots at the wrong times. They have grown patient and more emotionally mature (in a game sense), and have learned to pass the ball well and to take smart shots. They are a really good team. Its a lot of fun.

More importantly than that, they are good kids. I try really hard to reach them, to get through to them and let them know that I really care about them as people, not just as basketball players. But I don't think they either get it or they don't really care. I struggle with the temptation to give up when people don't care about things. I feel useless and worthless. But that's just how I feel. What I know is quite different. What I know is that it doesn't matter if they care, or even if I care. What matters is that God cares. What I know is that with God all things are possible. What I know is that even if I am right and they don't really care, they are such awesome people that they are definitely worth the effort and the prayers. They are great kids with great hearts and with great futures. I just wish that for once, I could make a difference and affect the lives of people for good, and for God.

I don't just feel this way about my basketball team. I feel this way about all my students, all my friends, and all the people I know. God please let me see how I can affect those I know. Please let me make a difference. Please allow my life to be useful. I'm sick and can't do much, but I can pray. So I pray for every person I know. Please draw them to yourself. Please address their doubts and restore faith. Please bring light where there is confusion. Please bring them encouragement and peace to those who are troubled and heartbroken. Please awaken those who are asleep and don't realize that they were born into a battle, not a game. Please heal the blindness that prevents us from seeing our sinfulness and our need of you. Please get us home to You in Heaven safely. Please.